Having to lie my way out
It was always female psychiatrists that were a problem. I met one who was an absolute nightmare, she just hated me with a vengeance. If I looked at her, my drugs went up. I thought - don’t smile or you’ll end up on lithium on top of everything else. So I ended up just lying on my bed all day. I couldn't move. My parents were bringing tea towels in as bibs for the slather coming out my mouth. My legs wouldn’t stop convulsing, and I’m saying to the staff ‘can’t you tie my legs down, so I can sleep?’ And time has no consequence in those places.
So eventually I got called in to see this particular female psychiatrist and I said ‘when am I going to be able to go home?’ and she said ‘well you’re not’. I asked her why and she said because you don’t speak to people, you don’t speak to staff, you don’t speak to patients…’ And I thought – well I’ve got nothing to say. She said ‘if you don’t start speaking to people, I’ll never ever let you out of here’. So I thought – well that’s a sobering thought! So I started telling the nurses what the voices said to me. But when I got on the ward round the consultant said ‘you can't go, you’re too delusional with what you are telling the staff’. So I shot myself in the foot there again. Eventually, I did manage to lie my way out.