Psychic beliefs: My family, on my father’s side, claimed to have experienced psychic activity and I was introduced to these beliefs when a child. This activity has included seeing and having contact with those in the afterlife. It has also included the apparent ability to levitate and having the ability to heal. Many people my father and grandfather met in their lives were quite amazed by their ability to cross, what I would call 'the boundaries of the human mind'
I do feel awkward adding this section to the archive because of the way it may be viewed but it has played a very important part with my diagnosis and in respect of my Grandfather and my fathers beliefs, I have decided to include this section. I feel something needs to be said!
I have experienced what I would call psychic activity and do not class these experiences as psychosis. Unfortunately this belief played its part in my diagnosis of schizophrenia. When I opened up to the psychiatrist about my psychic beliefs, I thought I would get an explanation about the capabilities of the human mind. I was looking for answers and further knowledge but turned to the wrong profession, not truly understanding much about psychiatry.
No conversation was offered in return. I tried to explain about my Grandfather and how he was known for pushing the boundaries of the mind but I was told its all poppycock! All I received was a very easy and automatic judgement on my family and myself, as having severe mental illness for having these beliefs. I have evidence of this in my psychiatric notes.
I do believe we know very little about the minds capability and the unseen, the energy which surround us and so on but I believe quantum physics is starting to help with this. So much is yet to be accepted and understood!
I believe in a spiritual afterlife, not from a religious perspective but it makes sense to me that the afterlife may exist as a natural way of survival, a progression of the mind, our thoughts and our own being. We are energy and energy needs to exist. I see afterlife as a part of emotional evolution, part of an ongoing journey. We need to survive, we need to exist!
This may be a very strange statement to some but what I class as psychic experience, for me, has happened with far greater clarity than the confusion I have experienced with psychosis. And I believe those who have had experience of psychic activity will understand the clarity in which it can happen.
I am not stating I know what my family has experienced, I only think I know and I still search for answers but I would state, in my own experience with both psychic and psychosis, there is a clear difference.
I believe psychic experience should not be so easily related to mental ill health! I believe ‘time’ will prove the difference!
Unfortunately, most who read this may only see my schizophrenia at play. The only evidence I can provide is the news reel provided by PATHE about my grandfather and an unusual photograph. Make up your own mind!
In later years, my diagnosis has encouraged me to try and see life with clarity and keep to what I know is real! I do not want to highlight any specific potential psychic experience, but I do constantly question these experiences and to this day, having much insight into my own diagnosis, I can not state these experiences as psychosis.
The below statement, made in the section about my trip to Moscow ‘leading up to my diagnosis’ was an experience of psychosis and not psychic. I know that! And should not be confused with what I have tried to express above.
‘I started to believe, because I had 'psychic beliefs' and heard of remote viewing, that my experiences, the anxiety, the paranoia, were part of the KGB's attempt to harm me with telekinetic/psychic powers and punish me for my involvement with the marching.
I became very concerned that 'they' knew I knew about 'them' and what they were trying to do to me, so began to fear for my life because I had recognised the advanced use of 'remote viewing' to destroy and control. I became convinced that all my anxiety and fears were the secret service driving me to suicide, so I would not 'spill the beans' of their 'secret and powerful' activities over me and others in society.’