Build up to hospitalisation

Peter Bullimore with his father

Peter Bullimore with his father at a family wedding shortly before hospitlisation.

My wife encouraged me to go and see my GP and he said ‘ah you're just stressed, take these beta blockers, you’ll be fine’.  And I think the thing that really pushed me into services, was the fact that I had a really bad period of insomnia.  You know I wasn’t sleeping properly, and I wasn’t looking after myself at all, and I had an out of body experience.  I was on the ceiling.  I could see myself laying on the settee and at that point – I thought I had died.  You know, I couldn’t get back into my body – it was very frightening.  I eventually got back in, and I started to cry uncontrollably.  Which is something I learnt as a child you don’t do.  It's a sign of weakness.  I went to bed and my wife asked me what was wrong.  But all I could say was ‘why have you let me down?’  I went back to work the next day.  She asked me not to but I went.  There had been a problem on this job and I swore at the man down the phone, and my business partner said ‘you can’t speak to people like that in business’.  That’s all he said.  So I hit him over the head with a telephone!  And then I drove home, and I just stayed there. Curled up in this chair.  I didn’t shave, I hardly ate or drank.  I was just locked in this world of paranoia and voices – I was just so frightened.  I finished up with the Doctor coming again and he said ‘I think you should go into hospital’. 

Journey into services
Build up to hospitalisation